Torn
by ManiacGirlAsaurus
Summary: Will Alex be able to share her past with anyone? Will anyone want to be part of her future? R&R plz rated M for language, self harm and mabey even some leamons. review please currently being re written so dont get confused atm
1. Chapter 1

I walk over to the van with my rucksack before looking at the building I called home for the last six years even though it was an orphan home. I looked at the jynx who has been taking care of me as she is crying.

I had been the longest pokemon to stay here since the building opened six years ago.

Let me introduce myself before I continue my story. I am called Alex and I am an Umbreon. I have been stuck in that building since I was 11 and now at the age of seventeen I have finally been adopted. I was always quiet and wasn't noticed much, I was mocked for my lack of markings but I haven't really cared.

I walk into the van driven by a Machamp what will take me to my new home in the city. I pulled my legs up to my chest as my tail curls around my ankle and I looked out the window as I watched the countryside turn into the city for the first time in my life. I picked up my sketchbook and looked through my sketches of my best friend Sam who was a pure black zebstrika.

I put it away as the van slowed down in front of a lovely mansion with two machops playing football in the garden. I noticed that they ran in while we got out of the van and the machamp pushed me towards the door almost knocking me over in my biker boots.

A hitmonlee opens the door for us and gives me a huge smile. "You must be Alex? Come on in" he leads me into a large living room and offers me a drink. I shake my head as he sits down across from me.

"I'm Sheldon and welcome to the house. I am the father to my seven sons and sorry but I don't have any daughters" he looked at me worried as I haven't said anything and was sitting tensed up. "It's ok if you feel nervous my youngest is adopted and I think that you might like him."

He didn't bother trying to get me to talk anymore and walked me to my room what was one of the basement rooms. I had to walk through a living room to get to what would be my room and it was half full of musical instruments and the other half art stuff. I was told to go in and get comfy.

I walked into the room and saw that it was all dark colours and had posters of rock bands and things like that. I almost smiled when I saw a Pierce the Vixen poster as they were my favourite band. I sat my rucksack down on my bed and pulled my legs up to my chest realizing how different my life would be now: I would be going to a new school, I will never leave this place probably, people would actually care what I do and of course I HAD A FAMILY.

I walked out of my room and started heading up the stairs when I noticed a vulpix walking out of the room across from mine, my breath caught when I noticed how good looking he was. I rushed up the stairs and saw Sheldon setting the dinner table. I sat down placing my sketchbook on the table and drew out something what looked like an umbreon surrounded in shadows being forced into a corner but somehow I noticed I added a bit of light within the shadows. I never knew how it got there but I closed it quickly when I realized the vulpix was looking at it over my shoulder.

He just laughed and pulled out the seat next to mine as I noticed all the seats were taken and he never had any tails even though he should have had five. I looked around and noticed there were a vulpix, a leafeon, two machokes and an arcanine. They all looked at me curiously and both the vulpix and mightyena was giving me the cutest looks ever. The hitmonlee started putting out plates of food and then sat down at the empty seat at the top of the table.

"You can all see that your new adopted sister Alex is officially here." He announced "please make her feel welcome boys and try to get to know her she has had some bad things happen to her since the day she was born. Now boys get up and introduce yourselves."

The vulpix stood up and said in a voice what sounded like it came from an angel "Name is Brandon Urie and I am your brother who was once adopted" he dipped his head when he said the last bit letting his ginger hair fall over his face.

Then it was the leafeon "my name is Liam and it is wonderful to meet you" he said confidently like his father..

Then the machokes stood up "We are Mike and Mathew and we are the ones who will protect cha" they said in unison like it has been rehearsed.

The arcanine stood up pulling his hands through his blond hair "Nemo, it is amazing to have a sister for once and a big welcome to the mad house."

We al started eating our dinner and when I was about to walk downstairs to my room Brandon grabbed my arm and looked at me with his wolf like eyes.

"You don't talk much do you?" he asked in his perfect voice.

I swallowed and said simply "Its not that I have anything interesting to say." He was stunned by hearing my voice as is has been described as "so heart-warming you think you are going to melt" I run down stairs and jump into my room before he could say anything.

I jumped on by bed and pulled out my CD player and put on Panic at the Disco's album what I burned off the internet and started singing to New perspective:

Feel the salty waves come in  
I feel them crash against my skin  
And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win  
There's a haze above my TV  
that changes everything I see  
and maybe if I continue watching  
I'll lose the traits that worry me

I continue singing as I don't notice my bedroom door open

Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?  
Stop there and let me correct it  
I wanna live a life from a new perspective  
You come along because I love your face  
And I'll admire your expensive taste and,  
who cares divine intervention  
I wanna be praised from a new perspective,  
But leaving now would be a good idea  
So catch me up I'm getting out of here  
(Can we fast-forward to go down on me?)

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time  
we move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine (everything is fine!)  
And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines,  
But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside.

Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?  
Stop there and let me correct it  
I wanna live a life from a new perspective  
You come along because I love your face  
And I'll admire your expensive taste and,  
Who cares divine intervention  
I wanna be praised from a new perspective  
But leaving now would be a good idea  
So catch me up I'm getting out of here  
Catch me up I'm getting out of here

More to the point, I need to show  
How much I can come and go  
Other plans fell through  
And put a heavy load on you  
I know, there's no more that need be said  
When I'm inching through your bed  
Take a look around instead and watch me go

Stop there and let me correct it  
I wanna live a life from a new perspective  
You come along because I love your face  
And I'll admire your expensive taste and  
Who cares divine intervention  
I wanna be praised from a new perspective  
But leaving now would be a good idea  
So catch me up I'm getting out of here

It's not fair, just let me perfect it  
Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive  
'Cause seeing clear would be a bad idea  
Now catch me up I'm getting out of here  
So catch me up I'm getting out of here (Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?)

I jump as I hear the applause coming from the doorway. I turn around to see Brandon and Nemo standing at the door.

"What the hell? Why are you listening to me sing?" I shout at them as I walk up to them trying to look confident.

"Told ya she sounded like an angel" Brandon said looking at Nemo "Never guessed she could sing like one to."

"Alex wants join our band we need vocals as our last lead just left the city?" Nemo asked giving me a flirty look.

"How the hell should I know if I want to join a band? I can't sing in public I get really bad stage fright and I hate it when people think they are worse than everyone as I was once at that point in life." I slam my door in their face and lock it before sliding down with my back against it.

XX next morning before school XX

I wake up and walk over to the bathroom for a shower what was sadly next to Brandon's room. As I walk out with a towel wrapped around my body I walk a bit faster over but sadly I bumped into Brandon and he gave me a smile like he loved the fact he saw me almost naked.

I walked faster into my room and pulled on a pair of blue jeans and a red tank top what showed off the fact that I had no markings and was just pure black. I walked out of my room and upstairs for breakfast.

I notice the boys all around the table looking quite surprised seeing me ready for school. I sit down next to Brandon and Nemo as Cress started putting out the breakfast. He looked surprised when he noticed me up and dressed for school.

"Didn't expect you to be wanting to start school instantly." Cress mentioned as he placed a plate of French toast in front of me.

"I want to get into a rhythm as I wave always lived in a routine and always been afraid to break it." I eat a slice of toast before I notice the boys al whispering between them.

I run downstairs to grab my rucksack before meeting them at the door as I lace up my trainers. They all walk out the door with a bye as I jump behind them with my headphones in my ears. I notice Brandon walking next to me with his rucksack.

As we get to the Academy I notice how amazing it is and the amount of pokemon in the school grounds.

Brandon pulls out my headphones as he leads me to the main office. I walk in suddenly scared out of my whits. I pick up my timetable and suddenly I hear the resepsionest tell Brandon something.

"I'll make sure she gets to all her classes, mainly because it's the same timetable as mine." He whispered to the retectionest as I stare at my timetable confused.


	2. Memories

I don't own pokemon so don't sue

I walk with Brandon to music what was a double period. Yay, music is one of the best lessons ever.

I walk into the class with Brandon who told the teacher who I was and things like that. I picked up one of the guitars and started strumming lightly.

As Brandon walked over I placed it back on its hook and looked at him.

"Ok just pick two things to do with music and I will help you get sorted out for class." He picks up the guitar I just put down and started playing a tune.

While he was playing I was thinking about what to pick before I noticed he was playing Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday. I started to sing along softly:

I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's only me to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of broken dreams  
When the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a-

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

I don't notice more people enter the room as I sing sitting next to Brandon.

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah  
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I stare at Brandon as he joins in singing. His voice is so beautiful I think it would be awesome for any type of music.

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line of the edge  
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's  
Fucked up and everything's all right  
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive  
And I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a-

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I'll walk alone...

By then the music teacher walks in obviously annoyed that no one was doing any work.

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah  
Ahhh-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah  
I walk alone  
I walk a-

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of broken dreams  
When the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a-

My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I'll walk alone

The music fades as the rest of the class applaud at us singing. I blush a red what doesn't show through my dark fur but it was kinda obvious that I was.

Some of the boys where giving stunned looks when some of the girls looked envious of my voice. I jump of the desk as everyone leaves to do what they were doing and the teacher beckons us over.

"Alex I know you are new to class but I really think you have amazing potential. Brandon I am quite surprised because that was the first time I have ever heard you sing in class before." She sits at her desk and slides forms over to us. "This is a singing competition what goes on in schools. The music teacher picks a pair of pupils to sing in the competition. They pick what song they sing and their own outfits. So it is completely up to you what you do as long as you come on time."

"I don't know miss, I like singing but I have stage fright and I blanc out if I'm under to much pressure." I look at her with my amber eyes trying to hypnotize her but Brandon steals her attention first.

"I'll do it as it looks like fun." He beams with a smile. I give him an evil look as the teacher beckons us out as the bell rings. We walk out of the class getting smiles from the boys as we walk to maths.

Xx at home later xX

I smile at the boys as I walk by them to get to the art supplies at the other side of the room. I bend over to pick up my bag as they start playing the music to Ballad of Mona Lisa. I walk up onto the stage and pick up the other guitar. As we get into it Brandon starts singing.

She paints her fingers with a close precision  
He starts to notice empty bottles of gin  
And takes a moment to assess the sins she's paid for  
A lonely speaker in a conversation  
Her words are swimming through his ears again  
There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right  
And let the sun rain down on me  
Give me a sign, I wanna believe

Nemo jumps in with the harmonies as I make sure imp getting all the right notes.

Whoa, Mona Lisa  
you're guaranteed to run this town  
Whoa, Mona Lisa  
I'd pay to see you frown

I start singing as he plays the guitar for me.

He senses something, call it desperation  
Another dollar, another day  
And if she had the proper words to say  
She would tell him  
But she'd have nothing left to sell him

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right  
And let the sun rain down on me  
Give me a sign, I wanna believe

Whoa, Mona Lisa  
You're guaranteed to run this town  
Whoa, Mona Lisa  
I'd pay to see you frown

Mona Lisa, wear me out  
Pleased to please ya  
Mona Lisa, wear me out

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right  
And let the sun rain down on me  
Give me a sign, I wanna believe

We start singing like there is no tomorrow as we do not notice Cress walk down the stairs with Mike and Matthew as they were wondering where the music was coming from.

Whoa, Mona Lisa  
You're guaranteed to run this town  
Whoa, Mona Lisa  
I'd pay to you frown

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right  
And let the sun rain down on me  
Give me a sign, I wanna believe

There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for.

We stop playing and they give us a round of applause. I jump of the stage and give them hugs and they all pat me on the back as well as congratulate Nemo and Brandon as they are awesome.

I skip dinner as I am to busy pawbooking my old friends from the Children's home. I realized how much they missed me as they all were messaging me saying I miss you and please come back.

After a while I switched my laptop off and went to bed.

Xx dream state – Alex xX

I was at the finals of the junior school competition nine years ago. I noticed my singing partner Siva walk into the building and give me a huge hug.

Siva was a young riolu and was actually an amazing fighter. He was different with his golden yellow body but that didn't stop him being awesome.

Today was the finals and nothing mattered but this.

We were on last and we started exploring the building. We were walking hand in hand through the basements as we heard a scary noise. We looked around in panic as we saw shadows move in on us.

Siva cracks his knuckles as he is also my security as my parents are gang leaders. He starts fighting his way though the pokemon trying to keep them away from me. I get into a few scuffles myself before realizing my body was starting to glow. I watched as my brown fur started to turn a dark black.

I was tackled before the yellow markings started to form. I bit my attacker noticing it was a machop wearing an army uniform. He jumped up as they shadows ran away and Siva was lying in a pool of his own blood…..

Xx dream state – Brandon xX

I walk through the abandoned corridors as my singing partner does her vocal exercises. BullShi*t just and excuse to make out with our teacher.

I walk through the walls singing softly to myself as I notice a weird notice behind me.

I turn around to notice a primape running at me with a knife. I jump back and grab his wrist before snapping it and removing the knife from his hand.

I notice him grab my neck and try to get me to a submissive hold. I kick him in between the legs and run.

He catches up with me as I get down to the ground floor. I run out into the courtyard as I am grabbed by a tyroque.

The tyrogue mentioned to me in a stern voice "Kid you need to come with us. Your mother has been murdered…

Xx midnight – 3rd person xX

They both sit upright panting as the memories jump back into their brains.


	3. revealed

I don't own pokemon

XX

I walk up into the living room needing a coffee really badly. I make a coffee as I hear someone walk down or up stairs. I pour it out as the footsteps stop and I hear light breathing at the doorway.

I turn around and notice Brandon standing there looking like he just had a nightmare. He walks over to the kettle and makes his self a cup not noticing me.

"Bad dreams?" I jump onto the counter and sip my coffee. I pull down the shirt I was wearing to make sure it covered me even though it was huge on me.

"Yea, just bad memories." He wipes tears away from his eyes as the kettle clicks "Things I thought would never haunt me again. What is your reason for being up?"

"Same problem as you. Things I though I saw the last of." I drain the rest of my coffee as I get a shiver up my spine. "I saw things people should never see in their lives and I will never unsee them."

I slump over as he jumps up next to me. I ignore him putting an arm around me as tears roll down my cheeks and land in m empty cup.

Xx flashback xX

I stare at Siva's cold lifeless body as his head lays on my lap as I listen to his last words over and over in my mind.

"I will always love you Frankie" was the last things he managed to say as he closed his eyes and placed his head in my lap.

Xx back to current time xX

He pulls me close and rests his chin on the back of my head as he runs his head softly. We don't notice the footsteps as Cilan walks into the room and notices us sitting there.

"Brandon make coffee I guess we should talk about this right now so we don't get confused and can't sleep." Cilan picks me up and places me on a two seated sofa in the living room across from a recliner.

Brandon walks in with the coffee and sits next to me placing his hand softly on mine for support.

"Ok, for starters you both know you are adopted." We nod "but what you don't know is you are both keeping similar secrets from each other. Brandon aren't I right?"

"Yea, you are. Alex my real name is Jared Johnston." He looks at me with puppy eyes as I manage to choke out my next sentence.

"F-F-Frankie" he gives me a confused look as I clear my thought "My real name is Frankie Vega." I wipe my eyes softly with the back of my hands as he registers that thought.

"Wait. You are the girl who was going to win that competition all those years ago but she disappeared before her turn and her singing partner was found in a pool of his own blood in the basement." It was more like a fact than a question.

"Yea that was me. I have regretted Siva dieing everyday since then and wished it was me who died instead of him." I sit my head in my hands before I notice Brandon holding an old newspaper article out to me. I took it out his hands then noticed the title "**Prince believed dead. Found body at local competition"**.

"That prince was me. It was the same day my mum was murdered. I was taken in the WPP and sent here." He pulls me close as we hear Cilan speak up.

"Alex, I know your name is Frankie but we will keep calling you Alex as we have gotten accustomed to that name and we prefer not letting the other boys know your real identity. Brandon only came here because I was the one who broke the news to him so I felt responsible for him. I was looking through old cases and found out you hadn't been taken in by a family yet so I thought it would be nice for Brandon to have someone to talk to about things as well as giving you a family who care about you." He places down his empty coffee cup and walks over to me. "Seeing as tomorrow is Saturday why don't we go zebstrika riding to pick up spirits and show you around the outskirts.

Xx hours later – Saturday xX

I am sitting in the back of a Mercedes looking out the window thinking I have seen this place before but the car is going to fast for me to get a good look at anything.

I am sitting next to Brandon in a pair of jeans and a camisole while wearing a pair of biker boots. I tilted my head to the side as I looked at him in his jeans and his red checked shirt.

I shake my head as the car stops in a building I know to well. We all get out the car as we go looking at the stables full of the zebstrika. My hopes don't go up as I hear a deep voice shouting my name. I turn and notice a larger than normal pure black zebstrika looking at me over his stable door.

"Sam!" I run over to him as I through my arms around him. He rubs his head into my shoulder obviously missing me.

"How do you know this zebstrika Alex?" Brandon places his arm on my other shoulder as I pull my arms away from his neck and start walking to Cilan.

"I used to come here every weekend and after school to talk to Sam. He was mine to take care of even though I never owned him but we had that bond what never got lost." I mention as the owner leads me to the tack room.

As I finish tacking up Sam as he is almost ready to run out the doors. I lead him out to the courtyard jumping into the saddle professionally before walking him over to where Brandon is waiting with one of the other zebstrika.

"Lets go." I rear Sam up before making him canter into the woods. Brandon follows close behind me.

An hour later we are sitting at a stream inside the forest just staring up at the sky. I notice he is sitting closer than usual. I smile as Sam jumps across the river trying to impress the mare before realizing Brandon has his arm around my shoulder.

I smile at him as the silence tells us everything. I get a sudden pain in the side of my head and everything goes black…..


	4. Help her please

I don't own pokemon

XX

Brandons POV

I panic as the zebstrika I was riding kicks Alex's head and she lands against me.

"Alex!" I shout shaking her trying to get her to make a response. "Sam! Help me get her to the stables!" I lift her up softly placing my hand under her head. As Sam trots over he tries to talk to be but blood is pounding through my head blocking all noises.

I jump onto his back holding her in my arms fighting back tears. I noticed Sam running full speed through the forest but somehow not throwing us about like rags. I curl my body over hers protecting her from branches and thorns. I stare at her face frozen in pain.

We get to the stables covered in cuts from protecting Alex and dad runs up to take Alex from me. I jump off Sam and open the back of the car for dad to put her in the back as I run around to the other side to help.

As we arrive at the hospital she is taken into an emergency room and I follow promising dad I will call him when there is news. I just sit there huddled up on a seat watching her and praying she will be ok.

I listen to the chansey who had examined her and is now her nurse/doctor. The only words I understood were concussion and coma.

"Son, if you want I will see if it is ok if you can just stay in her room to see her recovery first hand, if it means so much to you." She patted me on the back and I nodded fighting the tears what hid behind my eyes.

Middle of the night

I sat on the sofa in her private room just strumming at my acoustic guitar what I had my dad bring over with spare clothes for me and her. I had read online that music gets through to people in comas than words so I insisted it was brought over. I just sat there strumming away not playing anything when I placed it down and just spoke all of the darkest secrets in my heart and soul as I wanted her to know what I have done and who I really am.

Alex-same time

Omg I could just cry right now.

He is telling me all these things he has hidden and I can just lie there and do nothing. I can't move or speak. The most I can do is breath but I wanted him to know I was listening.

Next morning – Brandon

I just lie there running my fingers through her hair wanting a response before dad and my brothers came to visit her. I sing the lyrics to bullet-proof love to her as she lies there silent and unmoving.

I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights,  
we used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights.  
It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone,  
So darling, don't, don't wake me up, 'cause my thrill is gone.

In the sunset turning red behind the smoke,  
forever and alone.  
Yeah!

You've gone and sewn me to this bed, the taste of you and me  
will never leave my lips again under the blinding rain.  
I wanna hold your hand so tight I'm gonna break my wrist,  
and when the vultures sing tonight I'm gonna join right in.

(I place my hand softly on hers as I look down at her sweet face.)

I'll sing along, oh  
'cause I don't know any other song.  
I'll sing along,  
but I'm barely hanging on.  
No, I'm barely hanging on.  
By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone,  
and now there's nothing to do but scream at the drunken moon.

This isn't fair!  
Don't you try to blame this on me.  
My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me.  
And god damn it, I can barely say your name,  
so I'll try to write and fill the pen with blood from the sink.  
Woah oh, oh oh.  
But don't just say it, you should sing my name.  
Pretend that it's a song 'cause forever it's yours,  
and we can sing this on the way home.

I'll sing along  
'cause I don't know any other song.  
I'll sing along,  
but I'm barely hanging on.  
No, I'm barely hanging on.  
By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone,  
and now there's nothing to do but tear my voice apart.  
Nothing to do,  
and scream at the drunken moon.

I let the song lyrics fade into silence but suddenly I hear a soft sigh come from her mouth and ii know she has been listening to me sing and she wants to hear more.

I smile to myself before running to the small bathroom to get changed as some of the nurses have been eyeing me through the window.

Dreamstate

I walk through a darkened medow as I recognize the trick an old absol friend of mine would play on me. I notice a flowing figure in the distance as it walks up to me. I realize I am wearing black cargo shorts and I am walking around barefoor.

That's new I think to myself as the figure turns out to be a face I could never forget.

"Alex, you are ok!" I hug her tightly as she touches the ground in a solid form.

"Yea I am, but you arre not. I have heard what you said to me about you past and I think it is awesome that you could share it all with me even though that is serious things you have kept hidden." I sit down on I seat I just noticed and she sits down next to me.

"Please get better soon Alex." I need you here

"I hope I will." Is all I hear as it all fades away…..

AN: I do realize that Brandon refers to everyone as family


	5. Torn trust and skin

Think it is clear I don't own pokemon

XXX

We had been sharing those dreams for a few weeks. Dad would bring in work from school for me as she sleeps mentally but will always awake when I fall asleep. It was a perfect schedule until one night….

I walk into her dream but it is different than all the others. We are in a room full of books but we aren't standing on a floor but in thin air. I notice her sitting in a corner crying but more out of focus than usual.

"I'm so sorry but I can't keep doing this every day!" she sobs into my shirt as I stroke her hair. "I want to, but I just can't!"

"Wait, are you stopping these dreams? Why the fuck are you?" I stand up and start walking away from her.

"I don't want to! I need to get better so I can talk to you normally again!" she shouts back at me but I don't hear her as I am removing myself from the dream.

XXX

I sit up and notice the nurse getting her ready to wheel her away.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask her standing up.

"We need to take her to the ICU as her condition has worsened and i have already phoned your dad to come and pick you up." She leaves the room with that taking Alex with her.

After dad drops me off home I walk past Nemo and everyone, just to go downstairs and lock myself in my room. I lock the door behind me even though I can hear them calling my name.

I look around my room barely taking in the posters and the mess but my eyes lock on the dresser next to my bed. I sit down in front of it and dig through the bottom drawer looking for one thing in particular. I pick up the small packet of blades and memories flash through my mind as I remember what I used to do.

I pull out a blade and pulls off my hoodie revealing my arms. I don't hesitate when I pull the blade across my arms drawing blood and letting it run down my arms towards my wrists. I hiss in pain as I hit nerves but I blank out before I could do any worse damage to myself.

A.N yea I know this is a really small chapter but I kept getting messages to hurry up.


	6. Depression

Think it is clear I don't own pokemon. Another chapter in Brendan's POV

Big shout out to my new friend Some Critic, who is officially awesome.

XXX

Over the next few weeks my condition deteriorated as I didn't eat a lot and spent most of my time locked up in my room. I had lost a stone in weight within that time and I looked a lot worse than I did when I first came here. As I walk outside I throw down my skateboard and kick off in the direction of the countryside.

I stick my headphones in while pick "This is war" by 30 seconds to mars while I roll to the stables where it all went wrong. The kill starts playing as I get the stable doors and the riolu stable boy asks me if I was aloud here and I flashed an identification card at him what meant I was aloud.

I walk over to Sam and hold out an oran berry for him what he eats quickly giving me a suspicious look as in the years of coming here this was the first time I brought him something.

"Sam, I need to tell you something." I stroke behind his ears as he looks at me with big eyes what look so much like Alex's. "Alex isn't very well and I worry about her so much" Sam whines in my ear loudly "I will try to tell her we are both supporting her and I will update you when I hear any news." I turn around and notice him poking at me like he knew I need a hug. "Ok then." I throw my arms around his neck and he wraps his neck around me whining softly like he was trying to reassure me.

As I skate back into the city I stop in front of a tree and realize how much I have changed since I left the hospital and the ward she was lying in. I think about it and my mind only says one thing "YOU FUCKING LOVE HER DIPWAD"

XX

I groan as my alarm clock goes off at six in the morning. I rub my eyes and notice that there was a small envelope on the bottom of my bed. I pull of the covers and pick up the envelope what said my name on it in the fanciest writing I have ever seen. I blink several times and open the letter as I do not believe it is in my hand. I open it and it says:

Hey Brendan, Alex here, I am soo sorry but I think I am getting better and there is now chances I might wake up today. I do not know if I managed to send this right as it is my first time trying this so I am just saying I….

"Fuck!" I throw it against the wall as the rest is just large ink smudges what are completely illegible. I throw on a white shirt with a black waistcoat, black trousers and my favourite black trilby hat with a white band on it (Taken from the appearance of Dex the Swede –awesome videos-)

I pick up my guitar case what straps onto my back before heading upstairs where dad is cooking breakfast. "Dad could you give me a lift to the hospital, I want to see Alex." He turned around almost dropping the pan of bacon.

"Uhhh sure. Aren't you usually in bed at 11am?" he gives me a suspicious look as he puts the bacon on two rolls and hands one to me. I eat mine quickly before walking out to the car and waiting for him to be ready. I imagine what I will sing to her as she is the only one who knows me, better than I know my self.

Xx

"Kay you're here phone me when you need to be picked up." I get out the car as dad drives away. I walk into the white building and shiver as it just doesn't feel right.

The chancey from a few weeks ago gives me a worried look and leads me to a different room where she is now being kept. "She is a lot better now. She justs need something to wake her up." She whispers as she walks out the room leaving me to tune my guitar.

I look at her piece full face and start strumming out the music to a song I know too well. (singing=normal text actions –in these-)

Cold as ice  
And more bitter than a December  
Winter night  
That's how I treated you  
And I know that I  
I sometimes tend to lose my temper  
And I cross the line  
Yeah that's the truth

I know it gets hard sometimes  
But I could never  
Leave your side  
No matter what I say

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,  
But I really need you near me to  
Keep my mind off the edge  
If I wanted to leave I would have left by now  
But you're the only one that knows me  
Better than I know myself

-I sit on the chair next to her and sing lower-

All along  
I tried to pretend it didn't matter  
If I was alone  
But deep down I know  
If you were gone  
For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn  
Cause I'm lost without you

I know it gets hard sometimes  
But I could never  
Leave your side  
No matter what I say

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,  
But I really need you near me to  
Keep my mind off the edge  
If I wanted to leave I would have left by now  
But you're the only one that knows me  
Better than I know myself

I get kind of dark  
Let it go too far  
I can be obnoxious at times  
But try and see my heart  
Cause I need you now  
So don't let me down  
You're the only thing in this world  
I would die without

_-I look down at her tears in my eyes what hit my guitar softly-_

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,  
But I really need you near me to  
Keep my mind off the edge  
If I wanted to leave I would have left by now  
But you're the only one that knows me  
Better than I know myself

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,  
But I really need you near me to  
Keep my mind off the edge  
If I wanted to leave I would have left by now  
But you're the only one that knows me  
Better than I know myself

I stick my head on the sheets and there is a sudden jerk and a long piercing beep fills the room.

A.N: we have all agreed I am evil so no rage or I will cut off your delicate little bawls and feed them to my dog.


	7. love

Hey groovy guys and groovy girls. I'm back with another chapter of (wait what story is this) Torn! Sorry for taking ages to reply I was busy trying to update my story snake skins bout got writers block and ended up starting a full new story.

So where we left off last chapter Brendan went to hospital to sing to Alex but at the end of the song she flat lined, let's see what happens (evil laugh). Oh yea people thanks for pointing out I called Brandon: Brendan.

Xxx Alex xxx

I open my eyes to the sound of Brandon singing one of my favourite songs ever and smile down at him. He looks thinner than I remembered and wearing a hat I have never seen before. I pull out all the wires connected up to me making him sob even louder. I smile and pick up sit hat off his head and sit it on mine while he looks about for who stole his hat.

"Alex!" he pulls me close tears running down his face it remarkable speed. "I swear I did not mean any of those words I said and I understand if you never forgive me" he pulls me back and smiles "I don't know what else to say." Another tear runs down his face and lands next to my hand

I cough several times before I can get my voice working "I swear I don't mind, I never got mad at you for saying those things. I know what it's like watching someone close to death." Tears run down my eyes and a nurse ran in panicking but noticing that I had pulled out all the wires before scolding me.

"I'm ok nurse let me up and I will show you." I pull of the covers off my bed and noticed that someone must have brought clothes up for me as I was wearing a purple tank top and a black fabric skirt. I stand up onto my feet perfectly fine and spin happily before falling over the guitar and knocking Brandon onto the seat next to the bed.

"Whoa" he helps me up onto my face as it darkens my skin tone. He smiles down at me hiding behind his hair. His smile was a point what shown that I owed him something. I could tell that me being ok was enough for him but not for me.

"Okay, Alex you are showing remarkable signs but there is no point keeping you in." The chancy pushes me onto the bed "Sit down until Dr. Lukie says you are perfectly fine to leave. Until then stay in this room." She walks out leaving me and Brandon in the room ourselves.

He sits on the bed next to me and intertwines his fingers with mine; he lifts our hands up to his cheek and places my hand against his before kissing my hand. "In that letter you sent me the other night, what were you going to put on the bottom?"

I smile and shuffle closer to him, I try to stop my arms blurring up "I was planning to put 'I love you'. It is so true I would never lie about it." My bottom lip shakes slightly unsure what to say.

"I know you wont." He leans forward and presses his lips against mine, his lips felt unsure and I kiss back softly smiling as I really wanted him to kiss me. He presses his forehead against mine and smiles.

We both jump as Cilan walks in and catches us. We give hesitant hi's but we both go slightly darker. "I know what you two were just doing." He makes us panic but smiles "Its ok, I am just happy Brandon has found a girl, and before you ask it is perfectly ok for you two to date as you are both no relation to each other." He tosses us each some sandwiches what me munch on happily.

Xx late that night xX

I walk out of the hospital with Brandon right after Dr Lukie told me I could leave. I was drawn towards a red camaro at the entrance. I run my hands over the hood and bonnet admiring it. "Want a ride?" I hear Brandon open the passenger's side spinning the keys around in his hand.

I sit down in the passenger's seat as he jumps over the driver's door and sits in front of the wheel. "When did you get this?" I run my hands over the leather seats and interior admire it.

He starts it up and drives out of the car park. "I got it on my sixteenth birthday, this is my first time driving it." He puts his arm around my seat and I smile. "I really wanted to take you home in this so I got dad to bring it up for me, sadly I wasn't first to drive it."

"Awesome, but you didn't have to through all this bother for me." I lace my fingers through his other hand smiling softly.

"It's worth it babe." He parks in the driveway and puts up the roof before reaching across to stroke my cheek. He slowly leans in and kisses my lips softly. I kiss him back softly as he strokes my hair softly.

I pull back and whisper "I love you"….


	8. Home

Hey groovy guys and groovy girls. I'm back with another chapter of (wait what story is this) Torn! I want to say I am surprised by the lack of reviews from fellow writers, if you want to pitch ideas I am happy to hear and will love to take them into consideration.

I wrote this listening to the albums: This is war and Welcome to the black Parade, both old but fucking awesome.

XX

I walk into the house with Brandon to my side happily as I get to see this place again. I walk trough the front door and head for the living room out of instinct before being tackled by an orange blur from my right.

"I thought we lost you Alex, we just got you!" Nemo hugs me tightly with a smile so big it could put the chessishire cat to shame. I notice he is wearing a pink tracksuit with purple converse trainers.

Liam walked up next to him "You so missed it, he came out the closet last week and he is just so much fun to be around." He punches his shoulder lightly making him go even redder.

The twins pick me up and hung me at the same time making me squirm about as I don't like being lifted up. I kick Mike between the legs end elbow Matthew making them drop me but I don't mine as Alex catches me and pulls me into a hug.

"God I missed you Alex, I was going insane but not as much as Brandon." He puts on the ground softly before punching Brandon's shoulder laughing softly.

After all the smiles I asked Brandon to hand me his guitar as I sat on one of the seats. "Hey everyone I really want to sing you a song but the song will say what I need to."

I start playing the cords softly before starting to sing:

Oh I-I owe you, but how come it's took me this long to say it?  
'Cause I have been hiding the truth  
didn't think I'd let you in on this shit.  
But you know I wouldn't be here  
If it wasn't for you, you see I've tried this on my own,  
Oh, I owe you, imagine if I never got to see you again.

I'm gonna bite my tongue next time that you're speaking,  
'Cause you deserve the time a day.  
I abused your kindness with my weakness,  
and threw it in your face.  
Way to go, way to go, what a joke, I'm a joke,  
If only you could see how I feel.  
You bite your tongue next time that I'm screaming,  
See, I ain't angry with you.

There's no escape in what I've done,  
I hope you hear these words,  
Lord, strike me down if any one of them's untrue.  
You are the reason I am what I've become, I owe you.  
Even though you don't want nothing, I owe you one.

Hand on heart, I don't think there's any other way to say this.  
But I admit being a prick didn't do me any favors,  
I mean, I've been called every name under the sun's in my eyes,  
But it feels pitch black inside,  
I swear I put you through so much, now I couldn't lie to you if I tried.  
I admit acting a fool didn't do me any favors,  
Imagine if I never got to see you again.

I bite my tongue next time that you're speaking,  
'Cause you deserve the time a day.  
I abused your kindness with my weakness,  
And threw it in your face.  
Way to go, way to go, what a joke, I'm a joke,  
If only you could see how I feel.  
You bite your tongue next time that I'm screaming,  
See, I ain't angry with you.

There's no escape in what I've done,  
I hope you hear these words,  
Lord, strike me down if any one of them's untrue.  
See, you are the reason I am what I've become, I owe you.  
Even though you don't want nothing, I owe you one.

Oh, oh

Just bleed with me, at least speak to me,  
I'm so sorry if I've drained you out.  
That's why I love you,  
And I hope you're glad you made me finally say it  
That I'm nothing without you.  
Just tell me Imma see you again

I swear I'll bite my tongue next time that you're speaking,  
'Cause you deserve the time a day.  
I abused your kindness with my weakness,  
And threw it in your face.  
Way to go, way to go, what a joke, I'm a joke,  
If only you could see how I feel.  
You bite your tongue next time that I'm screaming,  
See, I ain't angry with you.

There's no escape in what I've done,  
I, I hope you hear these words,  
Lord, strike me down if any one of them's untrue.  
'Cause you are the reason I am what I've become, I owe you.  
Even though you owe me nothing, I owe you one.

I owe you.  
But you owe me nothing, 'cause I owe you one.

I let the last cords play out as I smile at everyone in the room as they applaud my singing but I hear a whistle from the door and I notice a gallade standing there and Nemo runs over to give him a hug.

Thry get wrapped into a close embrace and everyone looks away, "That's his boyfriend by the way" Liam whispers to me making slight gagging noises making everyone laugh.

I walk down to the basement with Brandon's hand in mine as he pulls me close to him as we get to the door of my room.

"I am really happy you are here with me, I felt lost without you and I hope I never have to do that again." He plants a soft kiss on my lips before walking across the room to his bedroom door. "Goodnight"

"Night" I blow him a kiss before walking into my bedroom.

-Alex's nightmare-

I walk out of school with Siva at my side laughing at one of his jokes. He pulls my long brown hair what went down half my back. I look across the playground to where mami and papi were standing next to Sivas mum talking about something.

I laugh as papi picks me up placing me on his warm shoulders and I start patting his orange spikes. "Hello chica." He smiles as mum picks my school bag and we start walking home using our usual route by the river.

I started telling them about what I did at school like any other seven year old eevee as they laugh and swing me on their arms between them like a normal family. It was just perfect until I heard angry shouts and mami pulls me close to her as papi shields us away from the voice.

"When I tell you to run, go." He whispers to us as the voice gets closer. "Now!" me and mami run as fast as possible as gunshots go off and I turn fast enough to see papi fall to the ground rapidly losing blood.

"Papi!" I scream as mami pulls me away and it fades away…

A.N: yes I made Alex Hispanic got a problem with that?


	9. Chapter 9

Hey groovy guys and groovy girls. I'm back with another chapter of (wait what story is this) Torn! I want to say I am doing to quote a song at the beginning of each chapter, if you review the correct answer first you will get a shout out in the next chpt. So this week we have:

They say that I'm dangerous  
like everything I touch it falls apart  
if I were to tell, they'll kill me now

Xx

I open my eyes to Brandon shaking me awake looking scared. I shake my head and try to sit up, he sits on the end of my bed and another tears runs down his cheek.

"Are you ok?" he pulls me into a hug against his bare chest, when I notice he was wearing only a pair of black shorts.

"Yea, just had a really bad flashback from eight years ago" a tear runs down my face as he rests his chin in my hair.

"Want to talk about it?" he whispers into my hair before wiping away a tear going down my face. I look at the cuts along his arms and try to remove the sights out of my eyes.

"All I am saying is I watched my papi die." I look up at him with the biggest frown ever on my face, before he places his lips on mine in a kiss. I kiss back happily as he leans into me and pushes me down onto the mattress. He pulls back smiling before planting a kiss on my nose.

"Get ready for school, we have to leave in half an hour" he pushes up of the bed and walks to the door before leaving the room.

Xx

I walk into the kitchen wearing a red tank top and a gypsy skirt my friend from the Home gave me. I pull out a seat between Michael and Liam happily before grabbing a slice of toast.

I get hugs from everyone and pats on the back on the way to school. I am walking hand in hand with Brandon getting weird looks of other girls in the school.

I walk into music humming a tune before noticing a boy who looked very familiar and I think he noticed me…


	10. Chapter 10

Hey groovy guys and groovy girls. I'm back with another chapter of (wait what story is this) Torn! I want to say I'm really upset no one tried the song quote thing last week so ill stop it. Sorry for taking ages I really couldn't be bother updating.

Xx

I grab my seat at the back of the class room with Brandon. I try to avoid the neon green houndoom at the front of the classroom. I hide behind my hair trying to pretend he never noticed me. I slide into my seat looking scared. I get through the class easily as Pro. Noctowl was talking the class and Ms. Jiggly isn't in today.

As I walk out the class I feel a bony hand grab my shoulder and pull me back. "What are you doing here?" I hear a voice hiss into my ear. I turn around to face the green houndoom.

"I am here for school Joey, more than I can say for you." I walk away from him making him looked confused. I hurry to catch up with Brandon who is looking confused but keeps his mouth shut as we enter the P.E department and walk into our changing rooms.

I walk into the gym hall wearing a pair of blue shorts and a sports top while I notice Brandon in his torn shorts what he always uses for sports. I sit down next to him on a bench while the rest of the class piles into the gym.

I notice Joey walk in dressed similar to Brandon but with normal trousers. I sit bored as Coach Blaze takes the register and tells us who is fighting partners for today. I sit up as he calls out my name and tells me I am pared up with Joey. I give him an evil look as we have to get into our pairs and do our warm-ups.

I get started on the arms stretches first and he starts looking at me confused. "What do you want Joey?" I hear my shoulder blades click into place as they stretch.

"Alex, I know we have known each other for years and you did one trust me." He looks like a scared houndour at the moment but I don't let that distract me.

"So what, that was years ago. I still remember the business you help your dad with." I start stretching out my legs as he replies.

"I know but I am telling you it is no longer safe here, you need to go." His eyes fill with sadness but I ignore it as I remember how good an actor he is as well.

"I don't care I will stay here as this is my home now and you will not take that away from me." I clench my fists trying hard not to punch him. I take a step closer to him as my fists surround their selves with fire.

"Don't get mad Alex, I'm here to be a normal teen I just want my friend back" he gives puppy eyes and I look away before he can say more.

"If you beat me in the fight I will reconsider but remember, you are the one who taught me how to fight." I give him an evil smile as Coach Blaze starts calling out pairs to fight.

I jump into the right eagerly as we get called up and everyone surround the ring as they have never seen me fight.

"You are not aloud to leave the ring or you will be disqualified from the fight and the opponent wins" Coach Blaze tells us as he dings a little bell signifying time has started as I crack my knuckles and neck.

I set my hands on fire and start using close combat confusing coach blaze as he has never seen the combination before. I jump high dodging a low kick as my hands turn ghostly and I land behind him. I claw his back with shadow claw making him yelp in pain.

He bites my arm with his teeth on fire making me retreat my hand quickly examining the burn. I growl as I jump onto the rope and try to take him down. He lands in the middle of the arena with a thud but I take some impact and try to stand up. As he stumbles up I jump high kicking his head and sending him out the ring and into coach blaze.

"Where the hell did you learn those combinations missy? And who the fuck taught you, I need some lessons" Coach Blaze tries to stand up throwing Joey off him.

"The boy I just kicked to you taught me how to fight, and now I can kick his ass." I jump over the ropes getting high fives off of people who never said a word to me but are stunned.

I sit down next to Brandon who is absolutely speechless. "Is that why you were acting weird? You knew him ages ago?" he puts his hand on my burn and it feels better.

"Yea he taught me how to fight when we were five. He could beat me easily back then but I have gotten into enough fights to get better." I look at my burn and realize he used psychic to heal it. "Thanks for healing my arm" I kiss his lips quickly before he is called up to fight an arboc called Ally.

After school I help Brandon into his car as he got badly hurt by Ally what is still making me laugh. He is smiling slightly as I laugh at him flinching a lot.

"You are so strong but you don't fight, why don't you show your strength to people?" I open my side of the door and sit in the passenger side.

"I don't like fighting as I don't like hurting people unless necessary." He starts up the car getting ready to drive us both home. Many people looks surprised that the car was his as he pulls out the spot and leaves the school ground.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey groovy guys and groovy girls. I'm back with another chapter of Torn! I want to say that' it is official that Kerrang TV is the best music channel to listen to while thinking. Because what it has as a motto should be what we live by: WHERE LIFE IS LOUD!

Before you open your mouths poke morphs can have pet pokemon

Xx

As Brandon and I walk into the house I hear a faint 'bun' comes from the living room and I walk into it seeing a little fluffy bunary on Nemo's lap and his galade boyfriend by his side. The pokemon runs over to me saying its name over and over again tugging on my skirt. I pick it up happily and sit to Nemo's other side holding the bunary as he twiddles around with the pokeball in his hands.

"Are you ok Nemo, you look worried?" I give him an awkward hug and the bunary joins in making him smile.

"Yea but now I got a pokemon I have to move to the trainer academy. What makes me leave my baby." He pulls the galade to him in a hug and didn't want to let him go. "I will miss you Gale

"Hey I'm getting my own pokemon this summer so I will be joining you in the school in the autumn term." He kisses Nemo on the cheek making him go redder than his fur lets him. I get up and head down to my room where Brandon is waiting to talk to me.

"Sorry for heading straight to the living room I wanted to know if it really was a pokemon." I hug him as he wraps his arms around me.

"Its ok I'm getting one soon in the summer I think dad will get you one as well." He looks down at me with his chocolate brown eyes making me melt so I was like a grimer inside.

"I always wanted a shinx but I never got one." I stand on my toes to kiss him and before he has time to reply I kiss him and he quickly takes over smiling. He bites my lower lip softly and I let a small moan escape.

Our tongues fight for dominance but I let Brandon win as he is the domanant one, I slide my fingers through his soft hair as he pulls me closer. His hands run down my lower spine making me shiver slightly as a muffled laugh escapes Brandon's mouth.

We both jump as I hear the drums get bashed and we turn around to see Nemo and Gale standing there laughing at us. I flip a table at them in my mind and stand up right.

"Whatdya want Nemo?" Brandon asks obviously pissed. I get pulled back as Brandon puts an arm around me pulls me close to him.

"Help me play a song for Gale, please." He gives puppy eyes as Gale sits on my purple bean bag.

"Fine but we pick the song" I look at him and we both get the same song in mind.

I jump onto the stage and grab my guitar of its stand and start tuning it. "Do you want to sing Nemo?" I look at him and he nods letting Brandon sit at the drums and spin the drumsticks in his hands professionally. I walk to Nemo and tell him we are singing turbulence by the band bowling for Soup (if you don't know who they are go die in a hole)

He looks so nervous as I start playing the music to the lyrics. His voice is hesitant at first but it soon gains confidence.

"It's so hard to figure out  
Which way to turn  
There's no going back now  
All your bridges burned  
The stars are gonna shine on you  
If you can get through the day  
Storm clouds all around you  
But a blue skies on the way. "

I look at Gale's stunned face and smile before walking to the seat next to the drums.

"And we're all just passengers tonight  
and we're all just travelling through our lives  
we will reach our destination  
so just hang on for the ride  
Say a prayer and close your eyes  
it's just a little turbulence.

Take a look around you  
Look how far you've come  
Your whole life in front of you  
You've only just begun  
We've all got our problems  
But they're just bumps in the road  
If you only keep on fighting  
There's no where you can't go."

I start singing some backings to it making Nemo smile at me before singing louder.

"And we're all just passengers tonight  
and we're all just travelling through our lives  
we will reach our destination  
so just hang on for the ride  
so say a prayer and close your eyes  
it's just a little turbulence.

This life can be so crazy  
can spin out of control  
But I hope that all your dreams come true  
because you know that you're amazing  
and no matter where you go  
I'll be there for you  
we can make it through. "

Before softening his voice he steps down from the makeshift stage and sits next to Gale.

"And we're all just passengers tonight  
and we're all just travelling through our lives  
we will reach our destination  
so just hang on for the ride  
Say a prayer and close your eyes  
it's just a little turbulence.

And we're all just passengers tonight  
and we're all just travelling through our lives  
we will reach our destination  
so just hang on for the ride  
Say a prayer and close your eyes  
it's just a little turbulence."

I place my guitar on its rack and sit on Brandons knees as he put his drum sticks down and puts his arms around me. He kisses my lips softly as I smile hearing my name being shouted frown as I get up and walk up the stairs as Brandon walks up behind me.

I open the door, a snarl escapes my lips as I see the face on the other side of the door…..

XX

Hey people be happy I took time out of my minecraft to write this chapter, don't forget to review as I want to know what you think as long as you don't burn I don't mine flames.


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